


Feeling Jams Pit

by Pinkachu



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternia, Culling (Homestuck), Dream Bubbles (Homestuck), Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Mentions of Blood, Meteorstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkachu/pseuds/Pinkachu
Summary: Karkat passes through a dream bubble where he relives one of his worst experiences. Someone is trapped in the memory with him.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 6
Kudos: 85





	Feeling Jams Pit

**Author's Note:**

> I've never written a Davekat fic before, and I think I got their characters wrong, but I will go back and edit this later I just wanted to get it out there!
> 
> Please give me suggestions on how to better my writing! I am still a novice at this.

The worst thing had just happened to Karkat.

The worst fucking thing.

  
One minute everything was fine, drawing shitty landscapes in Can Town with Dave and bickering about how, apparently, tomatoes don’t grow on trees or whatever. He blinked, and the floor turned a familiar hardwood purple. The thrumming of the air vents went quiet.

It’s his old respiteblock. Again. Not a single cheesy romantic poster out of place. The dream bubbles just love his memories, as if the horrerterrors causing him insomnia weren’t enough. Why can’t he be sent to a memory of Kanaya or Rose’s rooms instead? They talk in length of their hobbies and possessions, how much they missed their hives, how nothing has replaced them and probably never will. He could listen to their pasttimes and they would use him as a tool for their personal enjoyment, dolling him up in the “latest” fashion craze or psychoanalysis. He could be huffy about it but lowkey appreciate the company, and then they could leave the bubble with a newfound understanding of one another. But no. He always ends up stuck in his least favorite place to be in the whole fucking universe.

There is a buzzing noise outside his window, familiar enough to make Karkat’s muscles stiffen as he sucks in a breath. Most of these bubbles are memories of him consoling Gamzee, shooing a lost barkbeast out of his hive, finding dead grubs in the wilderness. He shudders. The dream bubble from a perigee ago was of the time he found a grub that was still alive, but he didn’t know how to care for it and it slowly succumbed to illness in his useless arms. Thank God no one was there to hear his pathetic crying.

He knows this dream bubble is a culling memory. A dream bubble he surprisingly had yet to experience and hoped he never would. He should have known better.  
He sprints towards the door and yanks it open, his feet banging against the stairs as he frantically tries to figure out what he should do in this situation. Crabdad can’t help him in dream bubbles, he’s not here. He wants to ride this memory out without figuring out which memory it is. He hopes he can.

  
Running into the main room he glances at the state of his hive, and his eyes fall on the broken, wet husktop.

  
There was only one day the husktop was broken. There was only one day the husktop was broken with that noise outside.

  
“No. No. NononoNONONO!”

  
Karkat throws the coffee table to the side of the room and lifts the rug, revealing a small trap door. He yanks it open and is met with a head of blonde hair with annoying aviators.  
“Oh thank God, I thought I was gonna be stuck down there forever.” The insufferable prick tries to lift himself out of the pit.

Of all the people who could be here right now. He should have known this would happen. Strider’s obsession with poking his nose where it doesn’t belong is instinct for him.  
Karkat frantically pushes him back down as hard as he can, and Dave growls in irritation. He’s got to get down there, it’s the only safe place, but there’s this idiot blocking his path.  
“What the hell is your problem man?! This is the first ray of light I’ve seen in ten minutes and you’re already shoving me back in the pit of hell! What is this, All Summer in a Day? I-“

“Shut the FUCK up and get back down there, you whiny asshat!”

  
Dave stares at Karkat in silence as he continues to push down on his head. He needs to get down there. There’s only seconds to spare, and this dickwad is gonna get them both killed. They’re doomed, he doesn’t want to relive this memory agai-

“Okay,” he nods, face unreadable behind that stupid eyewear. “Just stop pushing on my head, you’re gonna break my neck.” He descends back down the ladder and Karkat scrambles to follow, legs shaking on the rails as he flips the rug back to its original spot and shuts the door, locking it in place. He sees Dave has lowered himself into the small space, sitting on the musky floor and he’s staring at Karkat, waiting for the troll to sit next to him.

But his hands and feet won’t move.

He tries. He tries so hard to relax and get his body to finally be normal and obey his will, but the adrenaline won’t go away. Why was he able to move so fast getting here, and how he can’t? How stupid would it have been if he ended up this paralyzed before he shut the door? Everything is swimming in his eyes and all he is staring at is the solid wall three inches from his face. His throat feels funky and, oh god, he can’t breathe. Nothing is working, everything is-

Something touches his shoulder and he screams, losing his grip on the ladder and falling to the floor.

“Dude, what the fuck is happening? I need some explanations, and like, a lot of them. Right now. You’re being a turd blossom. This is absolute bullshit to keep me holed up in a rat den until all this is over. It smells like ass in here, and I’ve got no standards. I’ve got places to see, places to be-“

  
Too many questions. Too many things to answer. Too many thoughts. Too many ways to die. Too many toomany toomanytoomany-

  
“Whoah Karkat, are you okay?”

  
He’s asking another question, goddamit. Karkat gasps for air to try and materialize a response, but the only noise that comes out is another wheezing gasp. His mouth isn’t connected to his brain, all the words he wants to say get lost in the void of his mind before they can reach his vocal chords. He can’t stop the flow of tears down his cheeks, the shaking in his legs, or the pathetic sound that squeezes out of his lungs. Dave slowly brings his hand to graze Karkat’s forearm, and when he doesn’t draw back, he slowly brings the troll into a soft embrace.

  
It’s not like the shoosh paps or the few instances of human affection he has received in the past. Dave’s stiff and robotic about it, as if this is something he is unsure of how to do himself. He’s trying though, and Karkat can give him a few points for that. Actually, he can give Dave a lot of points for that. It’s not every day The Dave Strider gives someone a hug. Karkat doesn’t think he’s ever seen Dave give anyone any sort of affection. He’s just relieved the Knight of Douchebaggery isn’t making fun of him right now for crying. Why is he acting so out of character right now? Is there something he wants? Is he waiting for the right moment?

  
Oh God. Dave saw Karkat cry. He pulls his arms up to hide his face and presses his palms into his vision holes. He quickly wipes the red tears staining his eyes, but it’s too late, he’s seen it all. It’s all over for him.

  
“Calm down Karkat. I don’t know…I don’t know what's happening or why you’re so upset right now, and I’m pretty sure you’re expecting me to call you a weakling for this, but that shit would be really lame of me to do. It’d be like if someone fell from a building and all I did was point and laugh. I mean, you did fall a second ago, so I guess it’s kinda the same thing. Either way, I can tell that, for whatever reason, you’re way in your own head right now and that’s a big case of dirt brain because this shit isn’t even real. I’ve seen a lot of fucked up shit in my dream bubbles too and I know it’s hard to believe it right now, but…look. If anything happens to you it’s gonna be different because I’m here. Does your memory have a handsome chad in a tight red suit and a sweet ass cape to protect you? I don’t think so. I’m the Knight of fucking Time, and I doubt there’s anything on this Alternative-whatever planet that can beat me to get to you.”

“Alternia?”

“Yeah, that one. See, I forgot the name because it doesn’t even matter. Alternia? More like Ass-ternia."

Karkat snivels.

"Shit, wait. What I said was probably really offensive and I didn't mean that. I don't even know where that came from, really. Just forget I said anything."

"No, no." His voice cracks. "In any other situation I'd be pretty pissed at you but, uh, right now, it's fine."

Dave hums awkwardly. He just admitted to being wrong and was forgiven for it, so now he's trying to go back on his aloof act.

"Nah, I'll just diss Earth instead. I've got enough baggage for that sphere, no need to go sniffing into more bullshit that I probably know nothing about."

"Alternia sucked so bad."

Dead silence follows. He's not sure where that vote of confidence, or honesty for all that matter, came from. He feels like he's going to cry again. Why is he letting the meowbeast out of the bag so easily? What kind of damage does his thinkpan need to have in order to be so stupid?

Dave sucks in a breath. "Oh yeah?"

Karkat digs his fingers deeper into Dave's shirt and leans his head closer to the blonde's neck. He wishes he could go back and pretend he didn't say that. What would Dave do to him if he didn't spill the beans now? Would he hold the interrogation over Karkat's head for the rest of his sweeps? Would Dave even care after this dream bubble is over? In fact, why isn't he heckling him right now? This isn't the Dave Karkat knows at all. He stares into the black orbs blocking his eyes, desperate for social clues as to how to progress. He looks down at the other boy's shirt. Dave's suit is red, supposedly his blood is red too. Would he understand? There's another moment of silence, and he shakes his head in defeat.

"Remember when we watched Camp Pining Hearts? The color war...and I explained-I explained to you the um, hemospectrum."

"That wild shit?" Dave smirks. "That all went over my head. It's so crazy to me that someone would even do that. It's ancient civilization stuff for humans. How does any of that even make sense to you?"

"Well...there are some blood colors that aren't on the spectrum."

Dave furrows his eyebrows. "What? Why wouldn't they be? If it's a color, then it's in the spectrum. Why isn't it in your spectrum at all?"

"Well, I guess that's the answer that should make sense."

"Then what gives?"

Karkat inhales, then exhales. He really doesn't want to do this. He stays silent, pleading Dave won't ask any questions and just leave him be.

The cogs are turning in Dave's head, even his shades can't hide that level of thinking. Karkat is surprised to see Dave using all three of his remaining brain cells today. A rare occasion.

"Did they try to kill you."

Karkat lifts his gaze, pushes himself off of Dave, and rolls his eyes. "No, I'm just crying in a pit because I want to. OF COURSE THEY TRIED TO KILL ME! Multiple times!" Dave flinches. Karkat is on a roll now. His feelings are an avalanche down Troll Mount Everest.

"I was born with the same color blood as yours, and for that, I was never meant to exist in the first place. You wanna know why I freaked out earlier? Because this! Memory! Is the one that got closest to me not existing!!!" Great, he's crying again. This is so embarrassing. He hides his face with his arms again, but why does he even bother? Dave has already seen everything. His tears, his emotions, his past...He is just as exposed as he was when he was a chubby wriggler. "My luscus went out to fix the husktop when I spilled sopor on it, and the drones came by. I was...I was only two sweeps old, I didn't know that I needed to hide. My luscus always tucked me away himself." He pulls at his sweater, right under his sternum. "It-they slashed me. Right across here. I still have the scar."

Dave stares silently, pokerfaced. It makes Karkat anxious and the silence is deafening, so he keeps going. "They thought they killed me when they sliced me like that, so they just left me on the floor. I-I don't know how I survived all that. I just laid in a pool of my own blood for Gog knows how long...It was-"

"No, stop."

Karkat ceases his crying for a moment, focused on Dave's deadpan. "Stop what?"

Dave turns his head away. "Taking a trip down memory lane. That shit sucks more than it needs to." Who does this fucker think he is, interrupting him in the middle of a conversation like this? Karkat is letting his bloodpusher bleed out and this asshat gas the ego to tell him to shut up? How can anyone see him as a friend? How did Karkat even see him as a friend in the first place? How did they even get to this point? "I already know the story from your context. The drone things thought you were dead, your luscus came back in time, and you should have died but you didn't. That's right on the money isn't it?"

Ohh, Dave. You do NOT tell someone else their own backstory. He just crossed the line. "That doesn't mean you have the right to cut me off mid-sentence! News flash Strider, this is _my_ dream bubble! _You_ asked why we were here, and I was honest with you for once in my life because some dumb part of me believed that maybe...maybe you would care." He pulls his hair. "GRAAH! I don't know why you choose to be an asshole at the worst of times, but now really isn't it, you dick!"

"It's not about that, okay?" Dave's tone is defensive. "II just really don't want the gory details. Shit's gross."

"Yeah, as if you would ever have anything to say when it comes to the subject. Your species had nothing to be scared of on weak, peaceful Earth," Karkat scoffs. 

Dave grinds his teeth together and digs his nails into his forearms. "Why does this have to be a competition? What does this have anything to do with me being human?"

"Because whatever you're thinking about, it can't be as bad as me! I got the worst card in the deck! It's already been dealt! There's no way you can get that card too because it's not in the pile anymore!"  
  
Dave turns his face away and murmurs "What do you know about me, you piece of shit."

Karkat crosses his arms and puffs out his chest. "You, Dave Strider, grew up with your human-luscus in an apartment filled with puppets and swords and lived happily in your cubicle full of this drink called 'aj.' Then you played the game. The end."

"I fucking hate you," Dave chokes. He rubs the bottom of his eyes under his shades, and if Karkat knew any better, he'd say the cool kid is crying. 

"Did you ever stop to think. That maybe I wasn't giving you a hard time about this because I _knew_ what it felt like?"

Something gets lodged in Karkat's throat and the alarms in his thinkpan are ringing. Oh. Oh shit. Maybe he had jumped the gun and been wrong this time.

Dave forces a laugh. A terrible, hollow laugh. Slowly, he rolls his sleeves up, and the troll's eyes widen. 

There are scars. Countless gashes along the lengths of his arm, creating ugly patterns of a ghostly white, so unlike that of all other human skin. No. This had to be stitched back together. 

"I **hate** blood," Dave grits. He crumbles in on himself and turns his back to Karkat. "I don't want to talk about it. Ever. This isn't about you."

Karkat grimaces and doesn't dare look at Dave. His bloodpusher is hollow. He wants to apologize, but he knows there is absolutely nothing he can do to make up for what he just did. He pushed Dave to the limit and cornered him into telling Karkat something repressed over a technicality. He should have trusted Dave to respect him, what with how he had been treating him through the whole dream bubble. Even though he might pretend to be a self-righteous prick, he's not, and Karkat knows that now. He's being a dickhead. 

It's all his fault. He just broke his fragile friendship with Dave, the guy who trusted him to stay in the pit and didn't judge or mock his past. He got wound up over nothing and now he's all alone again. 

"They really tried to kill you?" Dave whispers his question, still refusing to look at Karkat. 

Karkat pulls his knees to his chest and sighs. "Yeah. I-yeah. They almost did."

It's silent again. That awkward silence that is begging for someone to say something, anything at all, no matter how stupid it may be, so Karkat forces a short chuckle. 

"Sometimes, I wonder what it would have been like to die on a day like this one."

Dave shoots straight up from his position and whips his head to stare at Karkat. He thought his glare through the sunglasses was bad enough, until Dave lifts them from his eyes and stares down Karkat. 

With red eyes. 

The red eyes that are dripping clear liquid in silent rivulets. Dave doesn't snivel or sob, he's completely quiet. It's unnerving. 

The pit is disappearing around them as the landscape slowly changes back to Can Town, but Dave doesn't stop crying. 

"How do I make it stop."  
  
"What?"

"The waterworks," Karkat gestures. "How do I make you stop doing that."  
  


"Promise you'll never leave me."

Karkat blinks. "Leave you? But I thought you'd want me gone after I said all...that." 

Dave shakes his head, the tears reaching his chin. "No, I just want you." He pauses. "Not-not in the gay, you know, I just need you to stay alive. This is gonna sound pathetic, but I need you man. You're my partner in crime. The peanut butter to my jelly. The dick to my vag-"

Karkat stopped listening to whatever the hell Dave was ranting about and pulls him in for a hug. He runs his hand down the fat of his cheek and Dave clings to him, getting his shoulder wet with messy human tears. This is so weird, the 'cool kid' is crying on him. 

"Wow," Dave laughs. "Is there a Neuralyzer around here? I want to forget everything that has happened in the last 20 minutes. Do you think I'd be able to alchemize shit from movies?"

"I have no idea what that is, and no, I won't leave you. At least, I won't try to. You know me, always fucking shit up."

Dave hums. 

"Just. Promise me you won't tell anyone about this."

"Only if you do the same."

Dave sighs in relief. 

It's awkward again. Karkat wishes he knew what to say. 

  
"Just so you know," Dave mumbles, "the hemowhatchamacallit? That stuff is all an illusion, okay? If you were able to be born from your grub mom, then you deserve to exist. It's not your fault that everyone else on your planet was batshit, and it doesn't exist anymore, so."

It's always been something Karkat has had a difficult time accepting, but hearing it from someone else's mouth is soothing. What's that thing that Dave usually does when he's trying to be cool with other people? He makes a fist and puts it in the air and says...what does he say...

Karkat clears his throat. "Bros?"

Dave gently taps his knuckles with his own, and he _smiles_. Karkat can't see Dave's eyes, but if he could, they would be smiling too. 

A girl's shrill voice snaps them out of their emotion jam-fest, and Dave is so startled he floats to the ceiling. 

"Karkat! Quit being such a sap! I can even _smell_ the emotions festering in this room!"

Dave takes one last look at Karkat before smiling, and floating out the door with a salute and a grin. 

Maybe he does have someone who cares about him. Maybe. 


End file.
